It was supposed to be good (PPMD Story
"After the birth, things did
not go as well as they did with my first baby. I started
having obsessive thoughts about falling and leaving the
children unattended if I were unconscious. I felt withdrawn
and had physical pains that would come and go. I thought
I was going crazy. "
[Read the full story]
These stories have been submitted by women who have experienced
PPMD and want to use their experience to help others. Any
names have been changed for privacy reasons.
It was supposed to
be good (PPMD Story 4)
I lived in Montreal,
surrounded by friends and family when my first child was born.
It was a wonderful experience. When she was one year old,
I was expecting her brother and my husband and I decided to
move to Mississauga to be closer to his new job. It was my
decision and this move would enable me to stay home for a
few years to raise the children.
We moved in the winter, and as the pregnancy
progressed, I began to feel depressed and alone. After the
birth, things did not go as well as they did with my first
baby. I started having obsessive thoughts about falling and
leaving the children unattended if I were unconscious. I felt
withdrawn and had physical pains that would come and go. I
thought I was going crazy. Since this move had been my decision
I felt guilty about my unhappiness, therefore I felt that
I could not talk to anyone about my feelings. I had two wonderful
children, a supportive husband, a nice house, and most of
all I was home to raise our children, which is what I wanted!
When my son was approximately 9 months old
I started feeling better. I was sewing and decorating my house,
these projects were lifting my spirit, and when he was one
year old, I found a mother's group in my area. I would look
forward to these weekly meetings, and one week a local nurse
talked to us about post-partum depression. This is when I
realized this was likely what I had gone through, that I had
suffered alone for no reason; I could have been helped if
only I had talked about it. I then decided that I would never
be silent about depression again! I trained to work on a telephone
support network for new mothers, which I did for 2 1/2 years
and talked openly about depression with other women.
When my children were 4 and 2, I was expecting
my third child. At approximately 14 weeks of pregnancy, the
feelings came crawling back, but this time I talked to my
family doctor right away. I explained what I had gone through
during the last pregnancy and after the birth of my son. After
doing some research on safe medication used during pregnancy,
I started to take an anti-depressant at approximately 18 weeks
of pregnancy, and until my baby was 6 months old. What a difference
it made! If I had one message to tell new mothers, and future
mothers, it would be to talk about how they feel, they are
not alone, and help is available!
My children are now 13, 11 and 7.
Since my third child was born I have had to take anti-depressants
on occasion. But I can recognize the symptoms, and be treated
right away. We continue to be a very happy family.
to PPMD Stories]
Submit your story
If you or someone you
care about, has suffered from PPMD, we would like to
hear about your experience. Submit
If you or someone you care about has any of these symptoms, get help, call or visit:
Your healthcare provider (family physician, midwife, nurse, OB/GYN, psychiatrist)
Your local Public Health Agency: Service Ontario 211 www.serviceontario.ca
Telehealth: 1 866 797 0000 or TTY 1 866 797 0007
Mental Health Helpline: www.mhsio.on.ca or 1 866 531 2600
Life with a baby www.lifewithababy.com is a non-profit group of mothers available in some communities of Ontario and online that help mothers connect with other one another for emotional and practical support. They offer events and programs such as play dates, time out for mom and family outings.